llcooljofficial: one time in 7th grade everyone in my class got really quiet so i said “dildo” just to see the ridiculous reaction since i knew how immature 7th graders were for 30 minutes, there was an uncontrollable uproar of laughter and someone fell and hit their head on a chair and had to go to the nurse because i said dildo.
katelynpossible: never trust anyone who can bite an ice cream without flinching that shit’s not natural
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: 3-2-1queer: When I was in fifth grade I realized I liked girls but I was like “that’s a problem for another day” and literally forgot about it and then in like eleventh grade I was like “oh my god” YOU PROCRASTINATED REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY THAT’S IT YOU WIN YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS i bow to you
icouldntfindanyotherusername: fucking-tom-hiddleston: k-lionheart: continualsanitynotlikely: If this gets 3 million notes I’ll make a dress out of these And wear it to the nearest major city SIGNAL BOOST AND IF IT GETS TO FOUR MILLION YOU’VE GOT TO MAKE A TIARA THAT MATCHES. YOU’RE GONNA REGRET PUTTING THIS ON TUMBLR OMG I’VE NOT BEEN THIS EXCITED SINCE THE FLUFFY CHICKEN POST
wecansexy: the panty raid
Black guy kills some people.
Muslim guy kills some people.
Latino guy kills some people.
White guy kills some people.
News: Mental illness. (lost soul, complicated psyche, quiet loner, misunderstood, frustrated with life, experienced recent, traumatic, life-altering events that set him off; not to mention all the positive descriptors that are attached to him, i.e. intelligent, PhD candidate, honor roll student, etc.)
Teenage boys rape a girl
News: Potential NFL athletes, popular students, class presidents, funny, intelligent, bright, enthusiastic, handsome, sought after, promising, polite, "poor boys who lost their future dream"
Teenage girl is raped:
News: What was she wearing? Was she drunk? How much was she drinking? Was her cleavage showing? Well maybe she was asking for it? Well was it really "rape"? She was a slut. Teens today are too sexually active. Did she lead them on?
odgehog: sherlockedforwho: taintedhumor: this is my blogging face I literally had to stop and smile because this was exactly what my face looked like I like how we all reblog this knowing that we have to physically stop everything to smile.
gokudezi: gokudezi: Today this girl walked into class, looked around and asked “are there any teachers around?” and when we said no she pulled a lizard out of her shirt
Argument I heard on the bus
Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.
heronqueenblues: “Party In the U.S.S.R.” by Miley Czyrovanjkovich
lindsaylohomo: oh my god so i was at the store today and there was a younger blind guy with his sister or cousin or something and i was walking behind him by a little kid and his mom and the little kid was like “mommy why is he walking with a stick?” and the mom goes “shh..he’s blind sweetie” and the guy turns around and he goes “yeah blind to the haters” and just turns around and starts walking...
fyeahmeredithgrey: capzona: amazingsmosherisnotonfire: maybeiwantthetrouble: miss-doctorwho: palaeobelle: huntelaarr: 2005 wasn’t just 2005 it was the beginning of an era Tell me about it Doctor who; Totally right yup Just going to causally add this to the list… Just adding this one
Things can never go easy for me
God. Fucking. Dammit. Just once, people, make me feel like you really want to see me/value who I am? Not just make me some fucking second or third string plan. Or at least make it less obvious.
berepah: strykeroptic: spoken-not-written: My boyfriend just told me that the Krabby Patty secret ingredient is crab hence why it’s called a Krabby Patty and why Mr. Krabs is so secretive over it because he doesn’t want people to know they’re eating people like him and Plankton is actually a good guy. oMG That’s what happened to his wife! that still doesn’t explain why his daughter...
WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT I'M EATING IS FATTENING
laughingstation: sodamnrelatable: (More here) More FUNNY POST here!
theoncomingstormofgallifrey: such-a-retardis: catswithbenefits: why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me Because rollercoasters can actually make me scream.
copslay: oh man im nearly out of toilet pap- AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHHSHAHHHAAHAHHAHA AHAHAHHhHAHHHHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHHahahahaahahahahhh
epic-humor: crankkky: meladoodle: girl you gonna need a permission slip to ride this dick see more
anderson-hummel: anderson-hummel: MY BROTHER JUST WALKED INTO MY ROOM AND HE HAD A LIGHT BULB IN HIS MOUTH AND I WAS LIKE “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING” AND HE GOES “I WAS HAVING A LIGHT SNACK” AND LEAVES I’M DONE MY DAD JUST CAME IN WITH A LIGHT BULB TOO AND MY BROTHER SHOUTS “I ALREADY DID THAT JOKE” AND NOW MY DAD IS ANGRY AT MY BROTHER WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FAMILY
peclro: a Christian pizza parlor named Jesus Crust
nevertrustthepenguin: egberts: u know somethin on the internet is p funny when you actually laugh instead of just blow air out of your nose really fast Oh my lord
oneandonlygabriel: part-time-thinker: ink-film-nibbles-script: “England is just a small island. Its roads and houses are small. With few exceptions, it doesn’t make things that people in the rest of the world want to buy. And if it hadn’t been separated from the continent by water, it almost certainly would have been lost to Hitler’s ambitions.” — Mitt Romney The Americans: The British: ...
commanderinqueef: today at the park some guy broke his ankle and one of the people said “give him some lettuce” and everyone just stared at him for like 7 seconds until he said “I meant ice”
chrisynova: gpgay: DO YOU KNOW HOW UPSET I AM RIGHT NOW IT’S A TRAMPOLINE TENT SO ONCE YOU’RE DONE BOUNCING AND HAVING FUN YOU CAN SLEEP ON THE FUCKING TRAMPOLINE AND HAVE EVEN MORE FUN imagine the sex in their
thedarklordwearsprada: the-face-of-broe: frickingloki: sassy-gay-karkat: its the year 4012 and madagascar 267 is officially in theatres they still arent in new york somehow they’ve landed on gallifrey the penguins have the tardis
So, my friend is stage managing Macbeth and made...
fuckingmultiverse: letsgivethesekidsashow: honeychildplease: I’m quite pleased with this. Rapping this out loud in my empty classroom like swag. WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WADDUP I AM A BIG SCOT I’M SO PUMPED ABOUT SOME VISION THAT THE WITCHES GOT I WILL BE THANE, SO SAYS THE PROPHECY THAT PEOPLE LIKE “DAMN, MACBETH DESERVES GLORY”